The Freedom To Be Yourself
This month’s theme at Ripple Headquarters, and for our newly launched Ripple Membership, is the Freedom To Be Yourself. I resonated with this theme so much as I struggled for years trying to be something I am not. Let me explain.
As an entrepreneur, everyone expects you to be on top of everything. You are the one with all the answers. You know where you are going and have the confidence to get there. You are expected to have it all figured out. At least that’s what I thought.
As I navigated the uncertain waters of what it meant to be a business owner and entrepreneur, I felt a lot like Play-Doh. Whoever I was with I was easily molded and shaped into whatever form they seemed to think I should be. Some thought I should be more like them, so I tried. Others thought I needed to show my authority and act smart so I tried to be the smartest guy in the room; clearly, I wasn’t and it showed.
Everyone seemed to be telling me I needed to be something other than what I was as if my success depended on it.
I felt inconsistent, incongruent, and very much like a fraud.
One day I was having a beer with a good friend of mine that had once been an entrepreneur. He asked me how things were going and I told him. I was miserable! I explained how I felt so out of my element and that everyone seemed to think I needed to be something I wasn’t. And no matter how hard I tried, I could never get comfortable putting on an act.
His advice was fantastic. “So stop playing the game!” I obviously looked confused so he continued. “Look Steve, why do your friends like you?” He didn’t stop to let me answer. “Because you are easy to talk to, you are always concerned with how you can help and you’re just a good dude. Maybe that’s what you are missing when you are out being Mr. Entrepreneur. You aren’t really Steve anymore.”
I went home that night and really thought about it. He was totally right of course. I was trying to be something I wasn’t. No matter how hard I tried, there was no faking it until I made it. There was just fake, and I suspected everyone in my company and all of those prospects felt it.
When we feel compelled to change to fit in just to be accepted by others we lose a piece of ourselves. I felt at that point in my life like I had lost all of myself and I was ready to get it back. I started being honest with myself and other people.
I admitted I didn’t have all the answers for my team. I shared with prospects that I probably wasn’t the best salesperson in the world but I was probably the best problem-solver they’d ever meet. I stopped trying to sell on features and benefits, and instead how my solutions could make their lives easier. And most importantly, I admitted up front that selling wasn’t my end-game, being a resource to them was.
My entire business changed when I stopped trying to act how everyone else suggested I should.
Was it perfect? No, of course not. Nothing in life is perfect. But I can tell you that many prospects in those early years of being an entrepreneur became customers and remain friends and supporters to this day.
So let me ask you, are you showing up as yourself in the world or are you showing up how you think you need to be to get people to like you, do business with you or pay attention to you?
If it’s the latter, take a few minutes to write in your Ripple Connection Journal and ask yourself why this isn’t working for you anymore. What exactly needs to happen for you to lean into being more of yourself? Trust me, it’s one of the most liberating and freeing things you can do.
If some people don’t see me as the smartest person in the room, that’s okay. They’ll see me as the most genuine.
Ripple On!!!