Career Crisis Booty Call
Are you or someone you know a career crisis booty caller?
Let's see.
You or they might be a career crisis booty caller if...
You start endorsing people in your LinkedIn that you haven't talked to in a while for crap you don't have a clue they are even good at.
They start reaching out to people in their network that they haven't spoken to in a very long time.
You start making random email requests to have someone in your network asking them to introduce you to someone that you've started stalking from their network.
You make an out-of-the-blue call for a "coffee catch-up" or to invite someone to lunch that you haven't spoken to in years.
They send those mysterious 2 PM texts with the message "What's happening my friend?"
You start following people you know who could help you get a job on ALL of their social media platforms and immediately start reposting, retweeting, liking, and commenting like a madwoman.
If you or they are doing any of these things, you or they may be a career crisis booty caller. Forget the maybe, you ARE a career crisis booty caller!
The booty caller understands, at least on the surface, how important maintaining and growing the relationships in their network is, but they have a job so what's the point? Sure they'd love to do that stuff but homie doesn't have time for that! They have jobs to do, work to get done and they are just plain too busy to stay in touch. Until they aren't and they need something. Then suddenly they want to milk their largely ignored network like it's the most fertile cow on the planet.
This is where you get recruited to play the role of Elsie by the way!
Then suddenly, if you are on receiving end of a career crisis booty call, you are suddenly the caller's top priority. It's like you immediately ascended to their personal altar of worship of awesomeness.
Don't be fooled by oodles of affection and flowery compliments they are suddenly laying at your feet. Booty callers will leave you cold and alone the minute they get a job. Yes, even when it's you that's helped them get that job. A cold twist of fate I know but a reality nonetheless.
Booty callers here's a little tip! We are on to you! In fact, if you've booty called us before we automatically know you'll booty call us again the next time you get laid off. You can't help yourself. And those of us who are good people can't help but fall for your Wiley Coyote ways yet again.
Freud didn't give this condition but I know had he studied this behavior he would have.
I don't know how many times you've been used like this but I've had my fair share. As much as I want to help these people when they call, I have stopped. I know it sounds like a jerk move but it's for their own good and mine as well. I refuse to be someone's shortcut to an introduction, or new job or to allow them to actively mine my network for their own professional gain. Why should I do that for someone who quite literally hasn't spent any time building a relationship with me or their own network?
I know harsh right? You are probably right. But it's how I feel and how I think you should feel about these users and abusers too.
When you only talk to someone when they suddenly find themselves out of work and desperate, how valued does that make you feel? I mean seriously. As if we weren't important enough to stay in touch, grab a beer, ask us what's new in our world or how they could help us when times are good for them and they are gainfully employed. No that didn't happen and suddenly I'm supposed to feel bad for not helping them the minute they call just because they know I can?
We need to stop the madness. Cover those networking udders Elsie stop getting played.
Relationships aren't to be taken for granted. End the cycle of career crisis booty callers now. If not now, when?
Ripple On!!!
Disclaimer: This post is obviously tongue in cheek. You have people in your network that simply don't get it and never will. It's clearly your decision if you want to continue to help them whenever they need it. Sure, you'll continue to feel cheap. The feelings of being used and abused will never go away. They'll never say thank you or return the favor but hey, you are a good Rippler and your actions say something about you. Sometimes we help people for no other reason other than we can. And that's okay too.
ICYMI: