Stop Sabotaging Your Important Relationships
Sometimes we need a wake-up call. Someone to shake us into reality and remind us to refocus on what is important.
Consider this post just that – your wake-up call.
As we head into the coming year, let me let you in on a little secret: You screwed up this past year. Yep, big time! And the sad thing is you didn’t even know it. So you just kept doing it over and over again.
Maybe you were just being lazy. It happens.
Maybe you just didn’t know any better. A definite possibility.
Maybe you just didn’t care enough to care enough. Can you say, “winner, winner chicken dinner?”
That’s it isn’t it? You just didn’t care enough. That is obvious now, now that I’ve pointed it out to you. Well, I mean who has the time will all the pressing demands on our lives? I shouldn’t fault you for not caring enough, you were busy right?
As my good friend Hylton would say, “Bullocks!”
I call steaming piles of horse manure on that one. Who do you think you are trying to fool here? It’s just you and me buddy so no games alright? Stop pretending.
In fact, stop making excuses altogether. Just stop. You only make yourself look foolish with all these excuses.
The good news is, I’m here now. I am not going to let you keep making the same dumb moves over and over again.
I’m going to help you to give a sh*t.
I’m going to help you prioritize.
And I’m going to remind you that this effort is all yours but the payoff is so worth it.
Your biggest mistake this past year was not identifying who was important to you. Which people in your personal and professional network were important to and required your focus and attention.
These people are people you could count on in a moment of crisis. First off, they are people of influence who could help you with that idea that you’ve been working on. Also, they are people with all the answers to the many questions you have. Not to mention, they are people with considerable influence who could help you get funding for your next venture, find your next job or open doors that have world’s of possibilities on the other side.
These are all people who you know are important to you and yet, you’ve spent very little time cultivating, developing and growing the relationships you’ve developed with them this past year. It’s as if they didn’t even exist.
That is sabotage of the highest order my friend.
It’s time to wake up and get back in the game, it’s time to rekindle these important relationships so they will be there when and if you need them in the upcoming year. It’s time…
So here’s how you are going to do it.
First make a list of the important people in your network. Then focus only on the relationships you know you need to cultivate, develop and grow this year.
Commit to reengage them. Set a plan now to get your next phone call, face to face or coffee/lunch setup with them. More importantly commit to doing 2-3 of these in-person meetings every month until you get through your list. Then…rinse and repeat.
Apologize. Yes, you heard me right. When you meet with these important people in your life, apologize to them for not making time for them this past year; for not making them more of a priority in your life. Apologize and commit to them that you will work hard to make up for lost time. Your sincerity here (provided it does come from the heart – as it should) will win major points and go a long way towards getting the relationship back on track.
Have a plan going in to each meeting. Then come armed with questions that will provide more insight and knowledge into the person you are meeting with. Remember, these meetings are about them, not you, so stay focused when you have them.
Set expectations for what’s next. When will you see each other again? What can you be doing in the mean time to help them? What issues, problems, projects or opportunities do they need help with? Commit to do SOMETHING for them in the coming weeks and months following your meeting. Demonstrate, in more than words but in real concrete actions, your sincere desire to build a valuable relationship with them and be a valuable contributor to this relationship.
So, sounds pretty simple right? But it’s not. The hard part is in doing. Well I mean let’s face facts, you’ve already been self-sabotaging your important relationships without a care in the world already and old habits are hard to break. So you’ve got to get off your duff and go make some serious reparations with these people!
The reality is this, these important people in your life will only stay that way if you put some solid effort towards keeping them that way. It’s not easy. It takes work. But anything worth achieving in life sort of does doesn’t it? So you better be nodding your head in agreement by this point!
So now that you are awake and aware I guess the only real question to ask you is – will you stop sabotaging yourself and reengage those important people within your personal and professional network? Hmm the only answer here is a resounding “yes” by the way.
Now get to work.
And as always…