Over the course of the last few years, I’ve found myself on a bit of a self-discovery journey. Now before you get all judgmental on me, let me just say it’s not a midlife crisis. No major tragedy has struck my life Thank God! I haven’t suddenly found religion nor have I committed to any cult. At least none that isn’t affiliated with the Dallas Cowboys or Bruce Springsteen that is.
No, let’s just say it’s an awakening of sorts. A newly discovered interest in all things that make me who I am.
Behaviors we control and ones we don’t
How to stimulate our creative minds and where that can lead us
The ability to be find peace rather than simply respond and react to a seemingly constant state of turmoil and stress
Our sense of belonging or our Desire to
How to find connection to spirit and whether there truly is a path to enlightenment
How to keep learning and discovering how many teachers we have before us
Yep, stuff like that. There’s a whole lot more but you get the picture.
No, I am not going off the deep end here. I’ve just started searching for more meaning in life. Searching for more meaning in the relationships and the people who enter my (our) universe. Searching for who I was, who I am, and who I truly want to be.
I’ve been recently reading Einstein by Walter Isaacson and though I find the book very difficult to read (holy crap some of the physic stuff is boring), the one thread that has impressed me thus far is Einstein’s deep continual desire to keep stretching the boundaries of his imagination. He spent an inordinate amount of time in his own head in deep contemplative thought on a whole host of subjects. Though I am no Einstein by any stretch of the imagination, I do find solace and comfort in doing the same. In part its allowed me to open up great depths of conversation with myself and enjoy the company of my thoughts and stretch the boundaries of my assumptions and automatic acceptance of a great many things.
In this search, I’ve found that much of what I thought I knew and believed in, is very much in flux and remains fluid in nature. As I continue to ask deeper questions and search for more substantive meaning I’ll continue to stir something deep within my soul. I don’t really know what I am searching for but that’s sort of the point. As long as the search continues, the discoveries are immeasurable and endless.
I promise I won’t go all woo woo on you. Those of you who truly know me realize that just isn’t me. No naked bongos. No howling at the moon. Definitely no sudden worshipping of heads of lettuce I pinky swear.
But I am searching for something.
The search has created a hunger inside me. And I am humbled by the significance that still lies out there waiting to be discovered. It’s life changing in a whole lot of ways. Perhaps by sharing it here in this format, it may stimulate some deeper more meaningful conversations with some of you. I can’t believe that I am on this search alone. At least I hope I am not.