Two Resolutions For A Successful Relationship Year Ahead
Are you one of those people who right about now starts thinking about your New Year's resolutions? Maybe you want to get in shape? Maybe you want to find a new job? Perhaps you want to learn a new skill.
Whatever your resolution for the new year might be, I have a full-proof strategy for making it a reality and experiencing a bonus like you never thought possible.
It involves the people in your network and the relationships you hold as important.
Let me explain.
Every goal, every resolution you have requires a sense of purpose and a certain level of accountability. Most people like to think about and plan their resolutions in private. I think this is a mistake.
If you communicate your resolutions with certain people from your network, your friends and even your family, and ask them to be a part of your success, something magical happens with those people. They feel needed. When people feel needed they feel important. Not just important they feel vital, and in doing so they experience a purpose larger than themselves.
This can do wonders for your relationships with each of them.
Because they feel included.
The reality is, most of us set lofty goals and resolutions every year. When you look back on why some were successful and most weren't, it's likely due to the fact that the only person we were accountable to was ourselves. This means we succeed or fail in private and where's the fun in that?
I think there's a better way to accomplish two things at once.
Build The Relationship Through Resolutions
When you let someone in close enough to let them know where your mind is at and what you really want to accomplish, people feel like they have instantly become part of a secret club. They want to help you succeed. They want to be part of the team that cheers you on to victory because everyone wants to be part of someone's victory.
If you engage a few special people and share with them what you want to accomplish in the upcoming year and ask them to be a part of it, in fact, you actually need their help to accomplish it, most people will be honored. And this is where the magic begins to occur.No matter what the resolution might be, losing weight, finding a new job or simply learning a new hobby, people will feel trusted which makes them invested in helping you. It makes them invested in you.
Your Shared Resolutions Are Actually The Byproduct Of Something Bigger
Not to get all Jedi-mind trick on you, but the bigger resolution isn't the activity you've asked them to help you with, it is actually much bigger than that.No matter what you put out there to accomplish, there is a bigger thing at work here. You will be building a deeper, more meaningful relationship with the people you have engaged to help.
Therefore, there are actually are two bigger resolutions I would like you to focus on here.
Resolution number one is staying more engaged and present with the people you've recruited to help you. This means actively engaging them in conversation, sharing your progress and soliciting advice and guidance along the way. This in turn likely helps you stay in touch a lot more frequently than you might normally. These more frequent interactions automatically deepen the relationships with these individuals because you are sharing updates on your progress, seeking guidance and having more opportunities to just talk.
Resolution number two is to use their involvement with you to learn more ways you can actually help them. Each time you engage with them you are deepening the relationship you have with them. You are finding ways to learn more about them and what's important to them. And the funny thing is, you'll be doing all of this while they think they are helping you.
Think about the magical outcome. You may actually accomplish something that is important to you but more importantly, build something much more valuable. Deeper, more meaningful relationships with people who matter to you.
Don't Hide The End Game
Now before you think I'm suggesting something nefarious in this action, let me put your mind at ease.
For instance, there are several things you can do to keep this on the up and up:
Be actually committed to a goal or resolution for the new year.
Determine who from your personal or professional network can best help you accomplish whatever it is you want to accomplish.
Make sure that people you identify are actually people you would like to build a better relationship with.
Be sincere in your recruitment of their assistance by explaining how you see they can help you.
Ask them if they feel comfortable being a part of this.
Be honest about your ultimate outcome. Explain why you need them and how you see they can help you. But be upfront and honest about the ancillary value you see in their involvement - you get to spend more time with them and this will likely build a stronger bond and create an even better relationship between the two of you.
Explain that by them helping you, you hope to learn more about them and ways you can also help them.
Before you get all nervous about how people will respond and react, let's just look at the conversation table you've just set with someone you identified as important to you. You have just told them in no uncertain terms that you believe they can help you accomplish something. This shows them you trust them, admire them and understand they have something that can help improve your chances for success. Who wouldn't want to hear that about themselves? No one.
Then you conclude by sharing that the byproduct of this little journey is your sincere hope to get to know them better by being more engaged with them during the upcoming year while they help you. Who wouldn't feel honored by that? Hmm again, no one!
Now why not give it a try, you just might find yourself accomplishing way more than a few goals but building some successful relationships over the course of the next year.
Ripple On!!!
Want to read a few previous posts on resolutions?